Conversations with my father

Over T.V. -
Sarah: Dad! You changed the channel away from the Olympics? You are a traitor to your country!
Dad: And to mankind.

Over drinks -
Sarah: Want to get drunk together?
Dad: Yeah, ok!
Sarah: Wow, my drink tastes a lot like alcohol!
Dad: [tastes my drink] No it doesn't! It tastes like cough syrup. Just shut up and drink it.