Philosophical and stuff

As I drove past an elementary school this morning, I watched the little kids get off the bus and out of their moms' cars. When I was their age, I used to fantasize about being a grown up - in love, on my own, and responsible. Now that I am all of those things, I get warm and tingly when I think about what it was like to be in elementary school. What it was like when I only had to be concerned with multiplication tables and whether or not Paul Delfeld knew that I liked him. What it was like when my day ended at 3P.M. What it was like to come home to two parents and a little brother. What it was like to be served dinner and to be tucked in every night.

Sure, the love and the apartment are nice, and I heartily welcome the positive self-image that came with adult responsibilities (and post-pubescence). What I miss is the security of having people tell me what to do because I was developmentally incapable of making any major life decisions. I miss getting paid to take out the trash and feed the cat. I miss my parents insisting that I go to bed before 10:00. I miss living in a house with a yard and a garage. It seems that what that I'm the most nostalgic for is the notion of "home" and "family".

As I drove past the elementary school this morning and watched all of the little kids get off the bus and out of their moms' cars, it finally occurred to me why so many people get married soon after graduation. Sean doesn't need to worry though (at least not for a few more years), I'll get my family fix when I move home next August.