Summer style

A couple of weeks ago I watched The Women (mostly because it stars Meg Ryan [aka: my idol] but also because it stars Debra Messing, whose presence in movies always entertains me because I spend two-thirds of the time gawking over how closely she resembles my beautiful friend Lauren). ANYWAY, the movie wasn't particularly memorable, but it did leave me with a new summer mantra: "What are the two words that women fear the most? Pool party." Never has that sentiment been more relevant than it is right this second as I prepare for "4th of July 2009--Lake House Edition."

Sure, I've been working out for one hour Monday through Friday without fail for the past month, and I've managed to keep my food intake under control even though I sleep right above a kitchen that's overflowing with calorie-dense goodies, but that doesn't mean I'm any more comfortable with my biggest (harhar!) trouble spot--the ol' pot full of jelly.

You see, it sort of pooches and ripples in the front where it shouldn't, and while I don't mind baring my tummy by the pool in my backyard, I'm a lot less comfortable letting it all hang out in public. So here's a question for you, dear readers with the same offending spot, where do you find swimsuits that aren't matronly or terribly expensive? I found these few that I like online at Macys.com:







Unfortunately, the only suit that's even moderately affordable on a part-time copywriter's salary is the last one, and there's a good chance that without any straps for support, I'd expose more than just my tummy since my girls are more like fried eggs than bags of sand dear God I wish I were exaggerating. I've also found scads of decent tankinis, but I'm not really sure about those since the two pieces meet right on The Spot and the tops have a tendency to ride up. And what about these crazy "monokini" things?



They'd definitely hide the front of my tummy, and the missing sides might not be a problem since I've managed to work off most of my love handles, but are they cute or just strange? Please discuss, or I might just find myself relaxing by the lake in long johns and a parka.