10:00PM I start reading over my surgery info packet. Foolish! Sean and I joke about electrified boobs and crusty nipples and I announce that I've changed my mind.
5:00AM Alarms are ringing. Mom and Sean jump out of bed and start getting ready for the day. I snooze.
5:10AM I get out of bed, wash my face, put on my track suit, and pack my bag. I'm ready to go.
5:45AM Arrive at the surgery center. All the lights are off. We sit and wait.
6:00AM Nurse lets us in. I sign paper work and am prompted out of my track suit and into a too-big gown, toeless support hose, and circulation booties.
6:45AM Nurse sticks me with an IV. Says my doc will arrive shortly. Calls me "tiny." SCORE!
6:50AM Mom and Sean are allowed to sit with me in the pre-op room. I instruct them not to let me forget being called "tiny." Mom and Sean misunderstand, think she was referring to my boobs.
7:15AM My doctor arrives, doodles, and asks me some preliminary questions (to which, fear not, he already knows the answers): "Where are we making the incision?" "What size are we using?" "Silicone or saline?" I get an A+.
7:20AM My anesthesiologist arrives. He looks fabulous! No wonder all the nurses told me I was lucky to have him! Why wasn't I allowed to wear make-up OR deodorant today? It doesn't make much difference, because he's wheeled me into the operating room and knocked me out cold within five minutes.
10:00AM I wake up next to a nurse. He asks me how I feel. "Busty" I muster. He calls my mom in and asks me what kind of snack I'd like. Room service!
10:15-11:30AM I eat half a bag of Gold Fish and drink a few sips of Sprite. I take a pain pill. I doze. I try to get up. I feel nauseous, take prescription nausea meds, and doze again. Mom's getting antsy, eats the rest of my Gold Fish. I sit up and move to a chair. Nurse prompts me to go to the bathroom and get dressed. He wheels me out to the car. I fall asleep.
12:30PM We arrive home. I trudge past my dad and into the guest room. I'm in no state to take on stairs or my mile-high bed.
2:30PM I wake up from a nap. I feel ok, but I'm sniffing around the hydrocodone never the less. I trudge into the kitchen to see about breakfast. Mom makes me toast. I eat two bites, feel nauseous, and go back to bed without any pain pill.
4:00PM I wake up from another nap. I finish my toast and finally take a hydrocodone. It makes me sleepy, foggy, and irritable. Seriously, who gets addicted to this crap?
6:00PM Dinner time! Chicken breasts (apropos again!), mashed potatoes, and peas for my still-sedated tummy.
7:00PM My bestie comes by with a vase of pretty pink flowers. "Pink for breast um...cancer" she says.
7:45-10:00PM My family watches TV. I doze through everything, including the Project Runway finale. Oh well, good job Seth Aaron's Hot Topic collection. You were leaps and bounds above Fumpy Shadows and Color Me Outerwear.
1:00AM I wake up from a nap, text Sean, and go back to bed.
[Flowers! From left: Breast...cancer flowers from Jordan, roses from my momma, and a big, beauteous arrangement from my beloved.]
["The florist gave me a funny look when I filled out your card."]
[A birthday card re-imagined! Obviously, Sean wasn't excited AT ALL.]
My brother also sent me a birthday boob day card! And it sang!
0 comments:
Post a Comment