If you please

The following two requests are entirely unrelated:
- Read this article and consider your own homicidal tendencies. Save the apostrophe if you value your possessions!

- A month from now when I'm (hopefully) gainfully employed, without a boyfriend (in the same town I mean! Whoa, there!), and suddenly faced with a lot of free time, remind me that I really want to read The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Because post-apocalyptica? I could eat that with a spoon for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert!