On pleasures, guilty and otherwise

I have shunned veggie patties ever since I had a terrible experience with a stringy gray Boca Burger last summer, but I encouraged my mom to buy two boxes of the Gardenburger brand after we tasted them at Costco today. They are like a cross between vegetables, tater tots, and rainbows. To put it another way: they are fanFREAKINGtastic. That employee deserves major kudos for the darn fine job that he did prepping and pimping those samples.

I think that the guy who sits next to me in my math class may start every day with a teeming line of coke. I feel that I'm authorized to make this judgment because I regularly indulge in Intervention on A&E, a sinfully entertaining show that's just a raging narcotipalooza.

I have a confession to make - right now, at this very moment, I am listening to bluegrass. Bluegrass, people! I was prepared to blame my backwoods university for inspiring this completely uncharacteristic choice, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I bought the CD that I'm listening to when I was 8 years old. And you know what? It's just as outstanding today as it was 12 years ago, so put that in your banjo and twang it.